I want a new house. Maybe not a new one...just a different one. Don't get me wrong - I love this little house. It is completely beautiful and economical to boot. Compared to some of the places I have lived, it is a castle and I certainly am not being ungrateful for all the wonderful features. The issue is, I know it is a temporary place for us and that makes me antsy. As much as I don't like the actual moving process, I am thoroughly anxious to figure out where we are going to end up for good so I can start relaxing and stop living out of boxes.
Again, as much I love this little house, I will probably go quite mad if I have to stay here any longer than the one year we have agreed to on our lease. There is just not enough room here. It has only three bedrooms and one living area, but worst of all it has only one bathroom. I thought I would make it more than six months before wanting to throw in the towel, but I am considering packing up all non-essentials just to get a head start on things.
If DH had any fewer hobbies or if any member of the family was even the tiniest bit less of a geek-in-training, we might be able to get away with this place for a bit longer. The truth is, DH needs am entire room just for his crafts. Making stuff is what he loves to do. Some guys like football and so they have big screen TV's to watch the games. Other guys like hunting or fishing so they have places to put their rifles and rods. My husband likes to sew, and paint, and read, and bead and make outrageously detailed head dresses out of tiny tufts of deer tail and porcupine hair. For him to do this, he has to have plenty of room to work and plenty of place to keep the stuff he uses.
Computer time and space has become quite a valuable commodity around here, as well. LH has a Facebook account and that is the main method she uses for contacting the long-distance boyfriend. TD and EG are still too young for Facebook, but they do enjoy a variety of educational websites (as well as many not-too-educational.) I know it seems a little backwards, but I would much rather give them an hour of computer time instead of TV time, if only because they can hook a set of headphones to the computer. Recently we acquired some used computers and now we are able to have a separate one for each of the girls...we just need a good space to put them. Our tiny office already has four desks in it and not enough room for anything else. We have considered putting up a desk in another room, but the more I think about it the more I worry. Desks mean clutter, and unless I can shut a door on it, it is going to drive me nuts.
Putting a desk in their bedroom is right out for many other reasons, too. First, I don't want any of them surfing after hours. Second, there really, truly is no place to fit it in. When we moved into this place we made the decision to have all three girls bunk together in one room so that we could have all our crafts in an office with a door. Since then, DH has created more incredible things and has been happier than I have seen him in years. Dedicating this space to an work room/office was a little like dedicating a portion of our lives to his happiness. It also is extremely practical because we have far less trouble with damage and loss to his supplies and he is able to work when he wants to instead of whenever the family's schedule allows.
So, DH has been a lot happier in this place. The girls, however... not so much. I get weekly (if not daily) requests for "my own space" from all three of the girls at separate times and for separate reasons. Before we moved Little Heart always had her own room. Maybe I spoiled her a bit in that way, but she just does better when she has a place to go that is her own. Tiny Dancer and Evil Genius have always shared a room. Most of the time they will share a bed if I let them. They are happier when they are together. They are not happy, though, having to share what little space they have with LH. There are three dressers, one twin bed, one bunk bed, and a book shelf as well as a toy box and way too much stuff all crammed into a room that is too tiny to begin with. Most of the girls belongings are still stuffed in boxes and crammed underneath their beds. Looking for something to play with means reliving the whole packing-then-unpacking-then-packing nightmare over and over again.
All of them are constantly pointing fingers and accusing each other of being the mess maker and of breaking or losing things. The truth is that they are all guilty. Yes, when you have too much stuff it is impossible to keep a place clean and tidy. However, there is only so much you can expect from three girls in one room. They all have a right to want their own things and to have a place to put them. When you are living like sardines even the most even tempered person can get frustrated. Even without normal sibling rivalry, having the three girls living like that is just asking for a double or triple homicide (no telling who the murderer might be.)
The living areas of the house are really not much better. There isn't a lot of space to devote to school work or even school supplies. We have one who plays trumpet, one who is in show choir, and one more who wants to play guitar and piano. They don't have the room to learn or practice anything! Keeping my girls entertained otherwise is a full time job (thus, the biggest reason I don't home school) and it also takes a lot of stuff. I could probably get rid of a lot of the arts and craft supplies that are really for their use, but then I would be at a total loss when it came to school holidays and summer vacation. I would end up wasting twice as much money trying to repurchase it all whenever a school project came up. As much stuff as we have purged over the last few years, I am pretty confident that everything we have left is stuff that we all really want. I don't want to get rid of it. I want to find a place to put it.
So, there's this house in town. It really is all the things I want all rolled into one pretty, yellow package. It has enough bedrooms for everyone as well as extra room for office and play. There are two fireplaces and a roomy kitchen and the whole place has built-in bookshelves as well as huge windows and a deep front porch with enough room for a few rocking chairs. The trees are big and old and the yard is nice and roomy. Basically, if I could design a house, it would look like this. Even better though, it is almost 100 years old so it has the character that only comes with being 100 years old.
Today, just for kicks, I checked the listing on this house which has been on the market since before we ever moved to the town. I have had my eye on it, just casually noticing, but never really, seriously, thinking I could ever have it. Apparently, the bank really wants to sell it even worse than before because they just whacked another chunk off their asking price. It is now priced down where I could possibly afford it. I know I still have six months left in this lease, and I know I am just now getting to the point financially where I can pay my bills on time, so I don't really have any business thinking about buying a house right now. But, gosh darn it, I want this house.
I started really looking online for every bit of information I could find out about this place. I found more pictures listed in a few different places and it appears that the majority of the house has been renovated, but a few of the rooms still need the final, cosmetic touches. That means I could use my fabulous handyman skills to paint and decorate the way I want to, but the house is most likely livable the way it is. I say "most likely" because I haven't actually seen the inside of it yet. Photographs can hide a whole lot and make things look very much different than they really are.
I want this house more than I think I have wanted any other house ever. This weekend, I am going to try and get on the inside and take a look around. Its so hard not to completely fall in love, but it might be too late. I have to keep telling myself that it might be a dump and that it might need too much work. I have to keep an open mind and see things for what they are, not what I could make of them. Also, we don't have the money or the credit to actually BUY anything right now. It could be months before we are ready to actually start the buying process on anything. Somehow, I think the house will still be waiting for us when we are ready.
Please, God, don't let someone else buy my house before I can?
Deb
I'll be praying right along with you.
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