Saturday, November 24, 2012


I'm not going to list out all the things I am thankful for this weekend. I try to do that every day and I'm sure no one is really interested in how much I love my fuzzy socks and track-ball-thumb mouse.
I'll just wish everyone out there a pleasant and peaceful weekend. Whether you are having turkey on Thursday, or some other meal some other day, I hope it is delicious and filling and that you are wonderfully inspired to be happy and thankful for everything you have.

My sincerest wish is that in the coming holiday season everyone remembers about peace on earth, goodwill towards men, and love. No matter your beliefs and/or religion this time of year we are all bombarded by advertisements of giving the "perfect" gift. I'm sure we all feel the same pressure to participate and join in. I hope you do - at least in the sense that being loving and kind to others will always be the perfect gift.


Saturday, November 10, 2012

What goes around...

... eventually will end up getting me sick, too.

Yesterday I felt a little yucky, but nothing unbearable. I thought I would go to bed early because we had plans today and I didn't want to make my kids miss out because of me being sick. Then, I did that dumb thing where instead of going directly to bed when I take my  meds, I stay up, get distracted, and end up being awake for half the night cleaning. Now, cleaning is a GOOD thing, but losing half a night of sleep isn't. I noticed my throat was a little sore as I was falling asleep, but that is sometimes caused by sleeping meds anyway, so I didn't think much of it.

At 6:30am, after getting only 3 hours of sleep, EG came into my bedroom because her throat hurt and she felt miserable. Her temp was just over 100 and that meant all our plans for the day would be cancelled. I got her some medicine to help with the sore throat and fever and got her comfortable on the couch. It took only a few minutes before she passed out again. As I was heading back to bed I realized MY throat hurt, too. Hmmmm. Not good.

By 9:30 I was sore all over and by noon I was running a fever over 100, too.

DH and TD still went out today because they were both feeling just fine and I had decided I would spend the day cleaning house while they were gone. So far, I've gotten the kitchen counters wiped off and the counter by the phone tidied up. Other than that I've been sleeping. A lot. I did manage to remember to eat (as painful as that was) butt that really only because I can't take cold medicine on an empty stomach.

All this isn't completely a shocker. Everyone in the house has been sick for a week now on and off. The symptoms are all pretty similar and it appears to last only a few days. At first, I was just bummed that I couldn't go to the pow wow this evening. Then, just as I saw the silver lining to THAT cloud, I get hit by lightning when I wasn't looking.

I promise I will update again as soon as I am feeling better. Until then, hug someone you love and tell a Marine Happy Birthday today!

Deb "Sickly" Lollar

Friday, November 2, 2012

Strange Universe

I feel like I am in an alternate universe. I get home later than everyone else. Grouchy, tired, and gloomy I trudge through the house to my bedroom to get into comfy clothes and all I want to do is go to bed. Realizing that no one has taken anything out to thaw for dinner, I go over ideas in my head for delivery and/or quick dinner. Nothing sounds good. The living room is occupied by DH watching TV that I don't want to watch so I wander in the dining room which is also full. With children. With children and dice and game books. They are playing Warhammer, and all I want is to go to bed.

Friday night is here and I don't want to go out and party. Rest, and quiet, and sleep are the only things that sound remotely pleasant. For once, I'm not in a lot of pain. I'm just... very, very tired. Work has been especially draining this week. There was one entire day without The Boss there and it was productive and even pleasant. That couldn't last, of course. Micromanagement is never easy to deal with, but that on TOP of snide comments and outright ridicule is pushing me to my limits some days. The only bright part of the week was today when I got my paycheck.

Truthfully the rest of the week outside the office hasn't been all that great, either. On Tuesday, I started my morning by being woken up from a nap 15 minutes early by the exterminator. Right after he got there, LH called me because she got hit with a migraine at school. The bug buy took TWO MORE HOURS to spray while DH was waiting for me in the nurse's office. By the time I got her back home, I had just enough time to not lay down before I had to get Monster to her doctor's appointment. That was a total waste of energy because the doctor doesn't actually give the kind of treatment we were there for. It's a long story, but basically both the insurance company and the doctor's office told me they were a specialist in a particular field but when I started filling out the new patient paperwork there were big bold letters at the top that said they weren't specialists in that particular field. Crap. Back to the list of 200 providers.

Now, it was my turn to get to MY doctor for the long awaited allergy test. Of course, there had to be more surprises in store for me. The test I was prepared for was not the test I was assigned.  Since I failed so miserably at the scratch test, the doctor wrote me up for the epidermal test. The one that takes THREE DAYS. Three days of wearing 60 wells of allergens strapped to my back with lots of tape. Three days without showering or sweating. Three days of extreme discomfort.

I was not amused.

After scheduling the day off on Tuesday, I got to back to work to on Wednesday to everyone at work giving me the hairy eyeball for being out. I swear they acted more offended than they did when I just called in sick! When I asked the Billing Guy/Office Manager if I could take a lunch break on Thursday evening at 3:00, he replied that WE DON'T TAKE LUNCH BREAKS HERE. After I pointed out that lunch breaks are required by LAW, he shoved a paper in my face with the current work force law listed. The line he had highlighted said something the the effect of "a worker does not need to be allowed to leave the premises, just that they be allowed to suspend their duties during their assigned break time."

This is pure bullcrap.

Regardless, I still took the time off on Thursday because I needed to get the freaking tape off my back so I could finally take a shower. I had to deal with the nasty looks and rude comments, but there was no way I was going to be late for this appointment. Not again.

So, I get to the doctor and the pull the tape off and you know what they found? Nothing. I'm allergic to NOTHING. Actually, it turns out I am highly allergic to the TAPE, but none of the actual wells of allergens caused a reaction. The redness from the tape was enough, though, that the nurse forced a zyrtec down my throat before I left.

Actually, I would have preferred a xanax.

I should have been thrilled that I'm not allergic to anything, but I'm not. I feel let down, depressed, and angry. All this aggravation, frustration, rushing around, being late, rescheduling, and being yelled at seems like it was for nothing. Maybe I thought I would find something magical out, like I was allergic to this ONE thing and that by eliminating it I'd be all better. I would give up just about anything if I knew it would make me feel better. Without any guidance, though - not even a hint - I feel like there's no reason to even try looking any further. I've got nothing.

Right now, I just want to curl up and forget about life. I want someone else to take care of things for awhile. I don't want to worry about making dinner, or making sure everyone gets just the right food and no one gets what they aren't supposed to. Just once, I want someone to tell me that THEY are going to take care of things and actually do it. It is too much to ask that dinner be cooked (or at least started) before I get home? Must I be the only one to request chores get done and homework is finished before 9:00 at night? Is it completely unreasonable to expect that these things get done on their own after I've been asking for FOUR MONTHS.

I can't do this on my own. With seven people in the house, it is completely reasonable to ask for simple help. I'm not asking for hours each day. All I want is 15 MINUTES from each person towards keeping their own house from being one step away from a Learning Channel special.

Life is getting too loud so I'm going to go somewhere quieter. I know I'll be ok. Just give me time. And maybe a chef and a housekeeper.