I love my To Do list. A neat row of things to remember, things to take care of, and errands to run. When I get each one done, I cross it off proudly, knowing I am one step closer to having all my ducks in a row. When I have scratched off all the items on my list, I can relax and take a few minutes for me. I reward myself for good behavior and the proof of my work is right in front of me.
No, seeing a clean house and a smelling dinner cooking on the stove aren't reminders enough for me. Half the time I turn around after finishing one chore and the last one is already undone. If I didn't have my list I wouldn't have proof that anything at all had been finished. I know DH comes home some days and wonders what the heck we've all been doing. It wasn't this way an hour ago! I swear! If it weren't for the To Do List I'll bet he would think I'm just acting crazy.
You would think that with all the girls being older now, that things wouldn't be so messy and crazy like they were when they were babies. Not so. The messes are just more sophisticated. When they were toddlers, I knew when they ate and what they ate and if there were things left out afterwards, I knew it was my own fault for not putting it away. Now, I can walk into a room and the remnants of no less than FOUR MEALS will be strewn across the room - the same room that I yelled at them for eating in not two hours before. I am assuming they have the memory of a goldfish and the appetite of a lion. Nothing else can explain this.
Some days I am so busy and I don't end up finishing everything on my To Do List. Heck, there are times I don't even TOUCH my list. It doesn't mean I haven't been productive. I've just been doing the thousand OTHER things that aren't already on my list. But even though I've been busy and I end the day feeling exhausted, I still have this nagging guilt about all the things I HAVEN'T done.
On the surface it sure seems like the lists are the problem. All those unfinished tasks, just sitting there, staring my in the face as a reminder of what I haven't done. It's more than a little depressing. If I've been busy shouldn't I feel proud of my accomplishments? Well, yes. Sure. It doesn't always work that way. The reason I keep the lists around is that there are just some things that are so very important that I must not forget them but no matter how important they are, I WILL forget them without some sort of reminder. I have TONS of reminders.
The calendar is where I keep appointments, pay days, and bill due dates. The dry erase board is where I keep the tasks that I need help with - the bigger things like, "Fix the hole in the fence." It is also where DH keeps the most important five crafts that he is working on. It helps me to know what he is working on so I don't accidentally clean up his mess while he is in the middle of it. The cork boards are where I keep reminders for the girls. I have a morning and evening routine to help them remember what needs to be done so I can do less nagging (supposedly.)
My favorite is the spiral notebook, which is where I keep my ongoing list. As I finish things, I cross them off. As I think of things, I add them on to the bottom. When one page gets so full that I can't tell at a glance what needs to still be done, I flip to the next page, write the new date at the top, and rewrite all the items that still need to be done. In my heart I know I won't get them all done in one day. I constantly have to remind myself that finishing them at once isn't really the goal. Reminding myself that there is something important to do - THAT is the purpose. It kind of gives me purpose too.
Take this week for instance. It is only Tuesday and already it's gone down the toilet. By this time last week, I had already cleaned all the living areas of my house and I was starting on the bedrooms. This week I'm looking around at the scraps of paper on the floor, the half finished cans of grape soda, the shoes strewn throughout the house as though one got up and went exploring without its partner, all the STUFF that got left around during the weekend and I just can't bring myself to even add "tidy living room" to my list.
I know it sounds a bit like a sulky, pouty child. "I already DID this! Why do I have to do it again?" I certainly admit that sulking is a small part of it. But it is only a part. The rest of me is ignoring the scattered disaster on purpose. Really. It is all part of my plan to raise decent children into responsible adults. I'm just sitting quietly for the moment, waiting until the time is right and then I will SPRING on the girls in all my Mommy glory and they will FEAR ME! They will clean this mess up so fast, I will forget there was ever a cereal bowl left on the dining room table!
You see, if I put this stuff on MY list, then I am actively taking the job away from the girls (who made the mess in the first place.) I want them to take care of it, and not just because I'm sick to death of doing it myself. I want them to take responsibility for their own actions, understand that leaving things down will make a mess that SOMEONE has to clean up. Since there is no one in the house name "Someone" they will just have to take care of it themselves. Deep in my heart I know that raising them to be aware of their own messes and conscious of the necessity to take care of it will make them better adults and better able to care for themselves in the future.
Now, actually following through with this is something I am not 100% great at. Most of the time, I do leave the girls' things exactly where they left them and then I go through the Seven Levels of Nagging to get them to put their things away. Or I trip on them and throw them as far as I can out of sheer frustration. Occasionally (okay more than just occasionally) I wait until most everyone is out of the house or otherwise occupied OUT OF MY FACE and I take care of it myself.
That's what happened last week and quite honestly, it will probably happen again today. Doing the dishes and vacuuming are not on my To Do List, but I have a fix for that. I'll do as much as I can without falling over from exhaustion, and then I will add what I have done to my list. So I can cross it off.
Deb
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Focus
Today I got a very pleasant surprise when I stepped on the scale. I have lost two whole pounds! I was so excited I ran out into the dining room still wrapped in my towel (much to the horror of my children) to share the news.
Most people would not risk a Public Indecency ticket to proclaim the joy of a measly two pounds, but (as always) there's more to this than just 32 teeny ounces. First of all, I realized that the towel, when wrapped around me, actually covers up all of me at once. I was so elated I had to share! You see, as I have gotten bigger over the last few years, one of the most depressing parts of life was not having a towel go all the way around my body. I used to be able to fit a regular bath towel around me without any naughty bits showing. However, as the pounds crept on, I was forced to use the extra BIG sized towels to preserve my privacy in the dash from the bathroom to my own bedroom. Lately, I've had to use the goofy printed beach towels or risk scarring my poor children during my morning race down the hall. Someday I will have a shower in the master bathroom and I will no longer be forced to cringe and shuffle down the hall covering myself with meager scraps of terry cloth, praying the neighbors don't choose that moment to stare into my curtains. Ah... someday.
Sure, you might say "Just use a bathrobe!" And I would say back, "NO!" Around here we have two seasons - Below 90 degrees and Above 90 degrees. Or, what the rest of the world likes to call "Summer" and "February." When you add on the humidity, having to wrap up in a bathrobe when I'm still damp only makes me feel hot AND sweaty, completely negating the entire getting-clean-in-the-shower thing. Now, I wouldn't DARE complain out the weather here (that is a sure fire way to attract a twister during the next thunderstorm.) MY part of this lovely state isn't NEARLY as bad as some others. Take Houston, for example. I hear the kids down there are starting to be born with gills so they can breathe the "air" more easily. That's some crazy stuff down there by the coast...
Anyway, the happiness I decided to share in my near-buff glory was about much more than JUST two pounds. It was actually about more like EIGHT pounds. When I started seeing Dr The Mann a few months ago, I was looking at 60 pounds or so of weight that needed to be lost. As daunting as that is, I have to look at it in smaller chunks to be able to face it down. Basically, every pound counts to me. When I stayed the same weight for an entire month, it was really depressing. When I finally started losing and I saw three pounds go away, it was like Christmas morning! Then, I started to gain again (I'm still not really sure why) and I ended up with TEN POUNDS more. This past week, I have been trying really hard to be good and exercise and it has totally paid off.
Ok. I lied. I haven't done anything more special this week than the week before. Well, except for being so sick that I really couldn't get out of bed. And the cold medicine makes me sick to my stomach. So, I guess I could say I was eating better and exercising, if by "eating better" you mean 1/2 a pb & j and a can of cola being the only thing I consumed in an entire day. Technically coughing and blowing your nose takes up calories, so maybe that would be considered "exercise"?
Well, whatever the reason for the loss, I will take what I can get. Right now, that means I am back at Square One. The same weight I was when I started seeing Dr The Mann. Strangely enough, I am just fine being here because I am at least heading in the right direction. As long as I don't go all Hollywood on the three cartons of ice cream in my fridge, I should be ok.
Come to think of it, I'm still not really sure HOW I ended up with three cartons of ice cream in there anyway. All I remember was mentioning to DH that the girls had been promised a treat for something (that part is pretty fuzzy) and the next thing I know, there are three cartons of BRAUM'S in the freezer. One of them happens to be my Ultimate Weakness (aka Peanut Butter Cup.) Suddenly, I remember why I do the grocery shopping around here. Every time. Even for just a gallon of milk. Because, "Honey, we are out of bread." turns into $100 of junk food later.
It appears I am off my game. My tenuous grip on the smooth running groove of the house is slipping away. The laundry is piled up (again), the dishes need to be done (as always), and we had take-out for dinner because of a school function that soaked up EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of my evening. Had I been on top of things, I would have thrown something in the crock pot so that we could walk into the house and eat whenever we ended up getting home tonight. That would at least have fixed one of those things.
Clearly I need to work on my focus. If I am going to keep the pounds at bay and keep the kids in line.
Speaking of kids, I have to brag on my Evil Genius for a moment. That school think that took up the whole evening? It was because her project was one of 10 in the whole school that was chosen to be presented at the Big District Genius Kids Show-Off. (No that actually isn't what it is called, but it's an appropriate description.) Every school in the district brought the top two from each class and EG's fabulous toy that she worked very hard on with DH made the cut. I got pics and I will probably post them once I find a decent one.
Good night all!
Deb
Most people would not risk a Public Indecency ticket to proclaim the joy of a measly two pounds, but (as always) there's more to this than just 32 teeny ounces. First of all, I realized that the towel, when wrapped around me, actually covers up all of me at once. I was so elated I had to share! You see, as I have gotten bigger over the last few years, one of the most depressing parts of life was not having a towel go all the way around my body. I used to be able to fit a regular bath towel around me without any naughty bits showing. However, as the pounds crept on, I was forced to use the extra BIG sized towels to preserve my privacy in the dash from the bathroom to my own bedroom. Lately, I've had to use the goofy printed beach towels or risk scarring my poor children during my morning race down the hall. Someday I will have a shower in the master bathroom and I will no longer be forced to cringe and shuffle down the hall covering myself with meager scraps of terry cloth, praying the neighbors don't choose that moment to stare into my curtains. Ah... someday.
Sure, you might say "Just use a bathrobe!" And I would say back, "NO!" Around here we have two seasons - Below 90 degrees and Above 90 degrees. Or, what the rest of the world likes to call "Summer" and "February." When you add on the humidity, having to wrap up in a bathrobe when I'm still damp only makes me feel hot AND sweaty, completely negating the entire getting-clean-in-the-shower thing. Now, I wouldn't DARE complain out the weather here (that is a sure fire way to attract a twister during the next thunderstorm.) MY part of this lovely state isn't NEARLY as bad as some others. Take Houston, for example. I hear the kids down there are starting to be born with gills so they can breathe the "air" more easily. That's some crazy stuff down there by the coast...
Anyway, the happiness I decided to share in my near-buff glory was about much more than JUST two pounds. It was actually about more like EIGHT pounds. When I started seeing Dr The Mann a few months ago, I was looking at 60 pounds or so of weight that needed to be lost. As daunting as that is, I have to look at it in smaller chunks to be able to face it down. Basically, every pound counts to me. When I stayed the same weight for an entire month, it was really depressing. When I finally started losing and I saw three pounds go away, it was like Christmas morning! Then, I started to gain again (I'm still not really sure why) and I ended up with TEN POUNDS more. This past week, I have been trying really hard to be good and exercise and it has totally paid off.
Ok. I lied. I haven't done anything more special this week than the week before. Well, except for being so sick that I really couldn't get out of bed. And the cold medicine makes me sick to my stomach. So, I guess I could say I was eating better and exercising, if by "eating better" you mean 1/2 a pb & j and a can of cola being the only thing I consumed in an entire day. Technically coughing and blowing your nose takes up calories, so maybe that would be considered "exercise"?
Well, whatever the reason for the loss, I will take what I can get. Right now, that means I am back at Square One. The same weight I was when I started seeing Dr The Mann. Strangely enough, I am just fine being here because I am at least heading in the right direction. As long as I don't go all Hollywood on the three cartons of ice cream in my fridge, I should be ok.
Come to think of it, I'm still not really sure HOW I ended up with three cartons of ice cream in there anyway. All I remember was mentioning to DH that the girls had been promised a treat for something (that part is pretty fuzzy) and the next thing I know, there are three cartons of BRAUM'S in the freezer. One of them happens to be my Ultimate Weakness (aka Peanut Butter Cup.) Suddenly, I remember why I do the grocery shopping around here. Every time. Even for just a gallon of milk. Because, "Honey, we are out of bread." turns into $100 of junk food later.
It appears I am off my game. My tenuous grip on the smooth running groove of the house is slipping away. The laundry is piled up (again), the dishes need to be done (as always), and we had take-out for dinner because of a school function that soaked up EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of my evening. Had I been on top of things, I would have thrown something in the crock pot so that we could walk into the house and eat whenever we ended up getting home tonight. That would at least have fixed one of those things.
Clearly I need to work on my focus. If I am going to keep the pounds at bay and keep the kids in line.
Speaking of kids, I have to brag on my Evil Genius for a moment. That school think that took up the whole evening? It was because her project was one of 10 in the whole school that was chosen to be presented at the Big District Genius Kids Show-Off. (No that actually isn't what it is called, but it's an appropriate description.) Every school in the district brought the top two from each class and EG's fabulous toy that she worked very hard on with DH made the cut. I got pics and I will probably post them once I find a decent one.
Good night all!
Deb
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Better is Relative
Today is Day 4 of The Nasty Cold. It started with my own girls, I think, then spread to my sisters kids, who got it BAD, then they passed it back to me. Yay. For a solid week I could feel it waiting to pounce like a cat in the weeds. I had a sore throat and nothing else, but I knew it was coming. Did I stock up on cold medicine? No. Not soon enough, anyway.
Now that I have the proper OTC's, I am feeling much better. But, "better" is a relative term. Right now, "better" means that I am out of bed and wearing clothing, as opposed to being in bed all day still wearing my PJ's. I managed to actually eat my dinner without feeling like I was drowning in snot. Chewing with your mouth closed when you can't breathe through your nose is just not pretty. I should have thought of that before going into the public to eat. Last night we went out because DH is the best husband EVAR and just knew how icky I felt. He suggested it was an IHOP night. I agreed so fast I was out the door before my kids found their shoes. This may or may not have had anything to do with the drool dripping down my chin after seeing a commercial for the new steak and eggs meal. Or my attempting to bribe the kids into cooking because I was too freakin' beat. Or the fact that kids eat free right now.
Even beyond DH, the whole family has been very kind this past week. Chores have been getting done (to some degree) and there hasn't been an unusually large amount of sassing. At least not to me. When things DON'T resemble a war zone around here, that makes me less stressed, which means I am nicer, which usually rolls downhill. By some miracle, the younger two girls have kept their bedroom clean for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that it only got clean because the youngest nephew broke some glass in there and so my sister and I had to clean it well enough to vacuum. It probably has nothing to do with the threats of bodily harm I made after finishing the clean up.
Since things were already running pretty smoothly, Easter was a much better holiday this year than usual. The eggs were cooked THREE WHOLE HOURS before bedtime instead of me setting the water to boil at 8:00 Saturday night. Now that the girls are older, the whole egg decoration process is much faster and involves far less swearing and frustration (on my part.) Even though we let the girls stay up late to finish a movie before we started, the eggs were finished, the mess cleaned up, and they were showered and in bed in record time (for an Easter Eve.) I might have gone a teensy bit overboard in filling the baskets this year, out of sheer gratitude.
One of the awesome things about holidays like Easter is that I have the excuse to cook a feast and I usually have WP over. It had been weeks since I had seen my dad, so I had kind of been missing him. I got really used to hanging with him a few times a week when we lived in the country. Since moving back to the city, I just don't get to spend as much time with him and that makes me sad. I am so thankful that I have pretty good relationship with both my parents and my in-laws. In fact, we've been so close for so long that I feel kind of isolated now that the in-laws retired to Colorado, my mom moved to Ohio, and WP is back in the country.
Family is a funny thing. I know a lot of people who, once leaving home, have tried to stay as far away from their parents as possible. I feel so fortunate that I am not one of those. Even though we have very different views and lifestyles, I still get along with my brother and sisters. I get so jazzed seeing all the cousins running around together acting like the best friends they really are. I love when we are all together and the house is full of grown-ups and the yard is full of kids. The kitchen is full of food and there are Dr Pepper cans and coffee mugs everywhere. No matter how awesome friends are (and mine are pretty darn cool!) there is just something cozy and connected about a family gathering.
I just got word yesterday that my littlest sister will be coming in for a visit during Memorial Day weekend. I am so excited I could just burst! She is finally sporting a baby-bump and I can't wait to rub the belly! Never has a rug rat been more anticipated than this one! I have volunteered to put them up for a night and so I will get to host another big family get-together. If I'm lucky, I can get all of us here at one time for a big, backyard, BBQ Family portrait. That is going to be one awesome shot, I tell you!
Now I'm off to plan the menu and wrangle my own girls into shower and bed time. Then I can head to bed with my new best friend - Nyquil.
Deb
Now that I have the proper OTC's, I am feeling much better. But, "better" is a relative term. Right now, "better" means that I am out of bed and wearing clothing, as opposed to being in bed all day still wearing my PJ's. I managed to actually eat my dinner without feeling like I was drowning in snot. Chewing with your mouth closed when you can't breathe through your nose is just not pretty. I should have thought of that before going into the public to eat. Last night we went out because DH is the best husband EVAR and just knew how icky I felt. He suggested it was an IHOP night. I agreed so fast I was out the door before my kids found their shoes. This may or may not have had anything to do with the drool dripping down my chin after seeing a commercial for the new steak and eggs meal. Or my attempting to bribe the kids into cooking because I was too freakin' beat. Or the fact that kids eat free right now.
Even beyond DH, the whole family has been very kind this past week. Chores have been getting done (to some degree) and there hasn't been an unusually large amount of sassing. At least not to me. When things DON'T resemble a war zone around here, that makes me less stressed, which means I am nicer, which usually rolls downhill. By some miracle, the younger two girls have kept their bedroom clean for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that it only got clean because the youngest nephew broke some glass in there and so my sister and I had to clean it well enough to vacuum. It probably has nothing to do with the threats of bodily harm I made after finishing the clean up.
Since things were already running pretty smoothly, Easter was a much better holiday this year than usual. The eggs were cooked THREE WHOLE HOURS before bedtime instead of me setting the water to boil at 8:00 Saturday night. Now that the girls are older, the whole egg decoration process is much faster and involves far less swearing and frustration (on my part.) Even though we let the girls stay up late to finish a movie before we started, the eggs were finished, the mess cleaned up, and they were showered and in bed in record time (for an Easter Eve.) I might have gone a teensy bit overboard in filling the baskets this year, out of sheer gratitude.
One of the awesome things about holidays like Easter is that I have the excuse to cook a feast and I usually have WP over. It had been weeks since I had seen my dad, so I had kind of been missing him. I got really used to hanging with him a few times a week when we lived in the country. Since moving back to the city, I just don't get to spend as much time with him and that makes me sad. I am so thankful that I have pretty good relationship with both my parents and my in-laws. In fact, we've been so close for so long that I feel kind of isolated now that the in-laws retired to Colorado, my mom moved to Ohio, and WP is back in the country.
Family is a funny thing. I know a lot of people who, once leaving home, have tried to stay as far away from their parents as possible. I feel so fortunate that I am not one of those. Even though we have very different views and lifestyles, I still get along with my brother and sisters. I get so jazzed seeing all the cousins running around together acting like the best friends they really are. I love when we are all together and the house is full of grown-ups and the yard is full of kids. The kitchen is full of food and there are Dr Pepper cans and coffee mugs everywhere. No matter how awesome friends are (and mine are pretty darn cool!) there is just something cozy and connected about a family gathering.
I just got word yesterday that my littlest sister will be coming in for a visit during Memorial Day weekend. I am so excited I could just burst! She is finally sporting a baby-bump and I can't wait to rub the belly! Never has a rug rat been more anticipated than this one! I have volunteered to put them up for a night and so I will get to host another big family get-together. If I'm lucky, I can get all of us here at one time for a big, backyard, BBQ Family portrait. That is going to be one awesome shot, I tell you!
Now I'm off to plan the menu and wrangle my own girls into shower and bed time. Then I can head to bed with my new best friend - Nyquil.
Deb
Monday, April 9, 2012
My Story
I've had a pretty long stretch of writer's block over the past few months. It isn't that I haven't been writing. I write something nearly every day, whether in my personal journal or on my computer. My block sometimes comes from feeling like my stuff isn't "good enough" to post. Or, more often, a piece that I am inspired to write is left unfinished, and when the moment has passed I find it hard to go back to it to complete it.But, whether I publish it or not, I still write it. Probably, no one will ever read 9/10th of what is typed or written. Still, I write it.
Writing itself can be difficult for me. I hurt everyday and writing and typing often makes it worse. My hand coordination is severely affected and I often spend more time fixing typos than I spend actually writing. Also, I need to rest and sleep far more than most people do, or have the luxury to. By the time I have taken care of my kids and family (poorly most of the time), I have taken care of myself, and I have taken care of the thousands of other things I have to do, the amount of time I have in the day for ME is tiny and fragmented. Still, I usually choose to use it to write.
Writing has become my therapy. All the ugliness, fear, and hate along with the happiness, joy, and love swirls together and forms words that end up on the screen or on the page. I have literally dozens of journals that are filled with my final thoughts of each day. If I don't write these things out, they end up keeping me awake or turning up in my dreams as nightmares or as uncomfortably vivid dreams that hang around in my head for days. Sometimes a thought lingers long enough that I feel the only way to make it go away is to share it.
Publishing any thoughts never fails to give me a minute of panic or so. My audience is pretty narrow and I don't often even get comments on the pieces I put out there. Still, I always pause over submitting them. Is this something I want to share? Will someone be offended by it? Will it make someone's day or make someone feel sad? Is this ALL really something I want to share, knowing that there is a chance (however tiny) that a stranger could pick this up and send it on to even more strangers? Do I really want to release this out to the Universe, knowing it might come back to me someday?
I really need to start saying "Yes!" a lot more often.
Maybe everything I write isn't perfect. I'm not doing this for awards or notoriety. Nothing I have to say is deep or original enough that it would need to be opened, uncovered, or shared with the rest of the world beyond my little circle. If anything was found to be worthy of that sort of attention, I will gladly allow it, but I am grounded enough to know it isn't likely to happen. I'm not doing this for money. I probably will never see any sizable income from it.
I guess I'm writing for selfish reasons. I want to put my thoughts out there so that maybe, just maybe, someone will read what I have written and think, "Hey! I feel like that too!" And then, if I am supremely fortunate, that someone will let me know that I have helped them feel less alone. Then, suddenly, I don't have to feel alone anymore, either.
Deb
Writing itself can be difficult for me. I hurt everyday and writing and typing often makes it worse. My hand coordination is severely affected and I often spend more time fixing typos than I spend actually writing. Also, I need to rest and sleep far more than most people do, or have the luxury to. By the time I have taken care of my kids and family (poorly most of the time), I have taken care of myself, and I have taken care of the thousands of other things I have to do, the amount of time I have in the day for ME is tiny and fragmented. Still, I usually choose to use it to write.
Writing has become my therapy. All the ugliness, fear, and hate along with the happiness, joy, and love swirls together and forms words that end up on the screen or on the page. I have literally dozens of journals that are filled with my final thoughts of each day. If I don't write these things out, they end up keeping me awake or turning up in my dreams as nightmares or as uncomfortably vivid dreams that hang around in my head for days. Sometimes a thought lingers long enough that I feel the only way to make it go away is to share it.
Publishing any thoughts never fails to give me a minute of panic or so. My audience is pretty narrow and I don't often even get comments on the pieces I put out there. Still, I always pause over submitting them. Is this something I want to share? Will someone be offended by it? Will it make someone's day or make someone feel sad? Is this ALL really something I want to share, knowing that there is a chance (however tiny) that a stranger could pick this up and send it on to even more strangers? Do I really want to release this out to the Universe, knowing it might come back to me someday?
I really need to start saying "Yes!" a lot more often.
Maybe everything I write isn't perfect. I'm not doing this for awards or notoriety. Nothing I have to say is deep or original enough that it would need to be opened, uncovered, or shared with the rest of the world beyond my little circle. If anything was found to be worthy of that sort of attention, I will gladly allow it, but I am grounded enough to know it isn't likely to happen. I'm not doing this for money. I probably will never see any sizable income from it.
I guess I'm writing for selfish reasons. I want to put my thoughts out there so that maybe, just maybe, someone will read what I have written and think, "Hey! I feel like that too!" And then, if I am supremely fortunate, that someone will let me know that I have helped them feel less alone. Then, suddenly, I don't have to feel alone anymore, either.
Deb
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Happy Spring!
Last week with the extra girls around, I had a pretty good time being the "fun" aunt. No, I didn't let them get away with anything they wouldn't do at home. I'm very consistent with my behavior expectations, even to my nieces and nephews. I just find it is SO much easier to do nice things for kids when you expect them to be nice in return. Kids will always rise to meet your expectations.
I didn't get to do everything I wanted to last week. There were a few days in a row of "bad days" that messed with my mellow, but I did get to enjoy plenty of outdoor fun, sleepover craziness, and special treats with the houseful of girls that I had. My only regret is that I didn't remember to catch every single moment on film. I got a few pictures, but not nearly enough. I need to be better about that.... all these golden moments slipping away. My memory is so horrible that I almost rely on photographic evidence to piece together the fun times I've had. Maybe someday soon I will be less afraid to actually GET IN the picture. Maybe after another 30 or so pounds are gone...
Now that the kids are back to school, the house is settling back into the routine of "normalcy" again. My days are much more active than they used to be now that I have Daisy to look after. I get at least 15 minutes of walks in - even on a bad day. On a good day, I might walk her 1/2 a mile or more. While the main responsibility usually falls to LH, I don't mind the excuse to get moving. The darn scale must have been glued because it still won't budge downward a bit, but I am improving every day with less pain and more energy.
Something occurred to me today while I was out running errands with Daisy wagging happily in the back seat - having Daisy with us feels very natural. She fits into our life very well and the kids say it feels like she has always been with us. She does things that R.O. never did, like play fetch with squeaky toys, go for rides in the car just for fun, or curl up on the couch with us. Just thinking of that, though, brought back the pain of missing him so distinctly that it was as if we had come home to his dog tags on the door just yesterday. I had a dream this morning about all the old things of my past and while I couldn't SEE him in the dream, I knew he was there.
It feels odd to miss a pet so much. Growing up, we never had a pet for more than a few years or so and there was never much ceremony about getting one or losing one. Having R.O. for 10 years, though... he was a part of my life longer than one of my kids. He was such an easy and laid back dog, that sometimes I wouldn't think about him being there. Now that he is gone, though, I feel like I wasted all the time I could have been playing with him. I regret that I didn't groom him more, which caused him to scratch, which caused me to be irritated with his fidgeting. I wasn't a very good pet owner, I don't think, leaving him home overnight while we went out of town. I guess I'm just going through the normal grieving process, and it doesn't really hurt any less that it was my pet I lost instead of a human. It isn't on my mind as often, but it is just as painful. I try to be comforted at the thought of him running through the fields in heaven, herding sheep like a work dog should, his fur is thick and shiny, and enjoying all the DQ fries he can eat.
I have to put my sadness aside for now. The kids are home from school and there is homework to be finished, chores to be done, walks to be had, and dinner to be ... attempted. (I'm still not sure what we're having.) On this rainy, windy day I hope each of you is blessed with a fresh breeze of the new season to come.
Deb
I didn't get to do everything I wanted to last week. There were a few days in a row of "bad days" that messed with my mellow, but I did get to enjoy plenty of outdoor fun, sleepover craziness, and special treats with the houseful of girls that I had. My only regret is that I didn't remember to catch every single moment on film. I got a few pictures, but not nearly enough. I need to be better about that.... all these golden moments slipping away. My memory is so horrible that I almost rely on photographic evidence to piece together the fun times I've had. Maybe someday soon I will be less afraid to actually GET IN the picture. Maybe after another 30 or so pounds are gone...
Now that the kids are back to school, the house is settling back into the routine of "normalcy" again. My days are much more active than they used to be now that I have Daisy to look after. I get at least 15 minutes of walks in - even on a bad day. On a good day, I might walk her 1/2 a mile or more. While the main responsibility usually falls to LH, I don't mind the excuse to get moving. The darn scale must have been glued because it still won't budge downward a bit, but I am improving every day with less pain and more energy.
Something occurred to me today while I was out running errands with Daisy wagging happily in the back seat - having Daisy with us feels very natural. She fits into our life very well and the kids say it feels like she has always been with us. She does things that R.O. never did, like play fetch with squeaky toys, go for rides in the car just for fun, or curl up on the couch with us. Just thinking of that, though, brought back the pain of missing him so distinctly that it was as if we had come home to his dog tags on the door just yesterday. I had a dream this morning about all the old things of my past and while I couldn't SEE him in the dream, I knew he was there.
It feels odd to miss a pet so much. Growing up, we never had a pet for more than a few years or so and there was never much ceremony about getting one or losing one. Having R.O. for 10 years, though... he was a part of my life longer than one of my kids. He was such an easy and laid back dog, that sometimes I wouldn't think about him being there. Now that he is gone, though, I feel like I wasted all the time I could have been playing with him. I regret that I didn't groom him more, which caused him to scratch, which caused me to be irritated with his fidgeting. I wasn't a very good pet owner, I don't think, leaving him home overnight while we went out of town. I guess I'm just going through the normal grieving process, and it doesn't really hurt any less that it was my pet I lost instead of a human. It isn't on my mind as often, but it is just as painful. I try to be comforted at the thought of him running through the fields in heaven, herding sheep like a work dog should, his fur is thick and shiny, and enjoying all the DQ fries he can eat.
I have to put my sadness aside for now. The kids are home from school and there is homework to be finished, chores to be done, walks to be had, and dinner to be ... attempted. (I'm still not sure what we're having.) On this rainy, windy day I hope each of you is blessed with a fresh breeze of the new season to come.
Deb
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
So many new things...
The reason I haven't been posting much is because I've been too darn busy! We got a new four-footed addition to our family - Miss Daisy Mae - and I've had my hand full helping everyone get used to having a doggie around again. She's part lab, part terrier (probably corgi) and she is just the sweetest little thing. She is small, which is awesome for many reasons, and she is pretty well house trained, nicely crate trained, and is an absolute dream to walk. The walking thing is a big deal for me, because I walk her about half the time. She is technically LH's pet because it was her friend that gave her to us and because she had known LH longer than any of us. The rest of the family pitches in their fair share, but by the way she follows LH around everywhere and sleeps in her room, we all know who Daisy's favorite is. I'm ok with this. I have wanted a boxer puppy for the longest time, and I still plan on getting one eventually. So, LH can keep Daisy and I'll keep looking for a wrestling buddy for DH and a jogging buddy for me. Ok, maybe not jogging... but at least a dog that wants to take longer strolls than just around the cul de sac.
Other than adopting Daisy, things have been pretty busy elsewhere in the house, too. We are into Spring Break right now so I have taken one of my nieces for the week. Awesome is around the same age as EG and TD, so it is kind of like having triplets instead of twins running around. I've been trying to find all sorts of thing to keep them busy, like living room forts, sidewalk chalk art, and trips to the park. I still have a few days left of this week and I am running out of cheap/free/low mess ideas, so any suggestions you all have would be greatly appreciated. Did I mention I would rather they be outside or quiet? Yeah... especially quiet.
While trying to keep my own sanity intact, I have been hanging out on Pintrest a WHOLE bunch and I have some really great ideas and inspirations in the works. DH and I have overhauled and dejunked the craft area so there is plenty of room to work and most of our supplies are within easy reach. My biggest issue now is that the overhead light in the office/craft room has gone on the fritz so the amount of light I have in the most comfortable place to sit is limited. We will have to call in a contractor to get the light fixed so I really have no idea how long it will be before I can craft at my desk again. Anyone know any really good and really cheap electricians?
I get to cut this short now since Daisy needs to go out AGAIN and the "triplets" are about to rip each other apart over "singing and judging each other" while they attempt to (poorly) help with the dishes.
Wish me luck! I'm going to need it...
Deb "The Crazy Aunt" Lollar
Other than adopting Daisy, things have been pretty busy elsewhere in the house, too. We are into Spring Break right now so I have taken one of my nieces for the week. Awesome is around the same age as EG and TD, so it is kind of like having triplets instead of twins running around. I've been trying to find all sorts of thing to keep them busy, like living room forts, sidewalk chalk art, and trips to the park. I still have a few days left of this week and I am running out of cheap/free/low mess ideas, so any suggestions you all have would be greatly appreciated. Did I mention I would rather they be outside or quiet? Yeah... especially quiet.
While trying to keep my own sanity intact, I have been hanging out on Pintrest a WHOLE bunch and I have some really great ideas and inspirations in the works. DH and I have overhauled and dejunked the craft area so there is plenty of room to work and most of our supplies are within easy reach. My biggest issue now is that the overhead light in the office/craft room has gone on the fritz so the amount of light I have in the most comfortable place to sit is limited. We will have to call in a contractor to get the light fixed so I really have no idea how long it will be before I can craft at my desk again. Anyone know any really good and really cheap electricians?
I get to cut this short now since Daisy needs to go out AGAIN and the "triplets" are about to rip each other apart over "singing and judging each other" while they attempt to (poorly) help with the dishes.
Wish me luck! I'm going to need it...
Deb "The Crazy Aunt" Lollar
Monday, March 5, 2012
Another Year Older ...
Saturday was my birthday and for once, it didn't suck. In fact, it didn't even come close to sucky. Actually, the past few weeks have been pretty darn good.
Now, I don't normally expect to get birthday presents and I'm ok with that. In my house we have made a tradition of birthdays being about having fun and spending time with family and friends. For the kids, there are usually one or two small gifts, but they aren't really the highlight of the day and I like it that way. Besides that my birthday is barely two months after Christmas, so I generally don't have a wish list yet. This year all I asked for was that I could go to a salon for a hair make-over. In November, right before my littlest sister got married, I put a "temporary" red wash in my hair to spice things up a bit. Nearly four months later it was still there but faded and rather ugly (think across between tomato juice and orange crayons.) I knew I would need professional help to take care of it so a week or so ago I found an excellent salon nearby and managed to get a same-day appointment with their top colorist. The stylist was amazing and I don't think my hair has looked this good in years! It cost plenty (as I knew it would) but you really do get what you pay for. Even though it was a few weeks early, I counted it as my birthday gift and I thought that would be it for me this year.
Imagine my surprise when both my husband AND my father presented me with gifts a few days later! First, DH went out and found the small handheld sewing machine that I have been looking at since I bought WP one for Christmas. I had the choice of opening it then or waiting until my actual birthday, but I couldn't wait and I've already used it twice. A few days later, WP drove down to hang out for the day and brought me a really awesome yarn and ribbon rack that he made himself out of PVC. Again, it was early, but of course, I didn't mind!
If nothing else happened to commemorate my birthday, I would be just fine with it, but things kept getting better. My favorite Native American Pow Wow of the year just happened to fall on my birthday this year and we all planned on going. Friday night, however, DH told me that he wanted to take me out for dinner since we wouldn't be able to do anything but the pow wow on my actual birthday. LH had a friend stay overnight so we left TD and EG with them and had a child free night without having to pay for a sitter! We had a nice, quiet evening out enjoying dinner, drinks, and dessert without kiddos in two. No public humiliation or waitstaff singing "Happy Birthday" at the top of their lungs. Just an incredible dinner paired with the perfect wine and delicious dessert to wrap it up.
The next morning I got to sleep in without interruption and I woke up refreshed and ready to take on the world. DH always has a lot to do to get ready for a pow wow but the morning was free for me. So, I took the opportunity to do a little bit of shopping FOR MYSELF!!!! Boy did I need it, too! I was down to one pair of jeans (without holes in conspicuous places), two pair of gym shorts, and a handful of t-shirts. With the little bit of weight I managed to lose over the last month I haven't really dropped a dress size or anything, but I have built up my self esteem enough that I want to look halfway decent when I leave the house.
I drove out to my favorite department store - the one with the awesome petite section - and took my time searching through the clearance section for great deals. I found plenty! I even treated myself to some new foundation wear and some comfy (yet stylish) sneakers. It feels so wonderful to have clothes that fit comfortably, are flattering to my figure instead of covering me up, and are even fashionable and classy. The new bra makes me look at least five pounds thinner! Between the new hair do and the fabulous wardrobe I feel like I won an extreme makeover!
The rest of the day was just perfect, as well. I got home just in time to help everyone braid their hair (it's traditional to wear braids with your pow wow regalia.) I wore one of my new outfits and felt like a million bucks. The girls were all in great moods and everyone had a good time dancing and eating fry bread and scrambling for candy. At the end of the night, we even managed to get the girls (and the husband) changed and out the door before the last of the vendors had packed up. Normally we are the LAST ones out of the building. The girls were exhausted from all the fun so we had no trouble getting them to bed and they even slept in the next morning.
We wrapped up the weekend with a slow day. The weather was just amazing outside so the kids got to go out and run off some cabin fever and DH got to take care of some work in the garage. Unfortunately, I was right in the middle of rearranging the office when The Migraine hit. I figured a perfect weekend was too much to pay for. I guess I had to pay somehow for all the fun I had. I was SO frustrated! After being so happy and energetic it felt awful to have to crawl into bed and cover up my head. I was in too much pain to consider anything else. I did, however, have a few more weapons in my arsenal than I usually do. I don't take any of the meds that are specifically made to combat migraines anymore because the side effects end up being as bad as the migraine. Instead, I used the TENS Unit that Dr The Mann gave me and it actually worked! It wasn't a quick fix; it took a few hours to get the pain to go completely away. The fact that it DID go away was miraculous! I don't know if this will work for every headache, but I am going to try this first from now on. Today I still have a bit of a headache, but it is bearable compared to what it was like yesterday.
So that was how my birthday weekend went. How did you spend your time? Did you have awesome weather like we did here in Texas? Let me know!
Deb Lollar
Now, I don't normally expect to get birthday presents and I'm ok with that. In my house we have made a tradition of birthdays being about having fun and spending time with family and friends. For the kids, there are usually one or two small gifts, but they aren't really the highlight of the day and I like it that way. Besides that my birthday is barely two months after Christmas, so I generally don't have a wish list yet. This year all I asked for was that I could go to a salon for a hair make-over. In November, right before my littlest sister got married, I put a "temporary" red wash in my hair to spice things up a bit. Nearly four months later it was still there but faded and rather ugly (think across between tomato juice and orange crayons.) I knew I would need professional help to take care of it so a week or so ago I found an excellent salon nearby and managed to get a same-day appointment with their top colorist. The stylist was amazing and I don't think my hair has looked this good in years! It cost plenty (as I knew it would) but you really do get what you pay for. Even though it was a few weeks early, I counted it as my birthday gift and I thought that would be it for me this year.
Imagine my surprise when both my husband AND my father presented me with gifts a few days later! First, DH went out and found the small handheld sewing machine that I have been looking at since I bought WP one for Christmas. I had the choice of opening it then or waiting until my actual birthday, but I couldn't wait and I've already used it twice. A few days later, WP drove down to hang out for the day and brought me a really awesome yarn and ribbon rack that he made himself out of PVC. Again, it was early, but of course, I didn't mind!
If nothing else happened to commemorate my birthday, I would be just fine with it, but things kept getting better. My favorite Native American Pow Wow of the year just happened to fall on my birthday this year and we all planned on going. Friday night, however, DH told me that he wanted to take me out for dinner since we wouldn't be able to do anything but the pow wow on my actual birthday. LH had a friend stay overnight so we left TD and EG with them and had a child free night without having to pay for a sitter! We had a nice, quiet evening out enjoying dinner, drinks, and dessert without kiddos in two. No public humiliation or waitstaff singing "Happy Birthday" at the top of their lungs. Just an incredible dinner paired with the perfect wine and delicious dessert to wrap it up.
The next morning I got to sleep in without interruption and I woke up refreshed and ready to take on the world. DH always has a lot to do to get ready for a pow wow but the morning was free for me. So, I took the opportunity to do a little bit of shopping FOR MYSELF!!!! Boy did I need it, too! I was down to one pair of jeans (without holes in conspicuous places), two pair of gym shorts, and a handful of t-shirts. With the little bit of weight I managed to lose over the last month I haven't really dropped a dress size or anything, but I have built up my self esteem enough that I want to look halfway decent when I leave the house.
I drove out to my favorite department store - the one with the awesome petite section - and took my time searching through the clearance section for great deals. I found plenty! I even treated myself to some new foundation wear and some comfy (yet stylish) sneakers. It feels so wonderful to have clothes that fit comfortably, are flattering to my figure instead of covering me up, and are even fashionable and classy. The new bra makes me look at least five pounds thinner! Between the new hair do and the fabulous wardrobe I feel like I won an extreme makeover!
The rest of the day was just perfect, as well. I got home just in time to help everyone braid their hair (it's traditional to wear braids with your pow wow regalia.) I wore one of my new outfits and felt like a million bucks. The girls were all in great moods and everyone had a good time dancing and eating fry bread and scrambling for candy. At the end of the night, we even managed to get the girls (and the husband) changed and out the door before the last of the vendors had packed up. Normally we are the LAST ones out of the building. The girls were exhausted from all the fun so we had no trouble getting them to bed and they even slept in the next morning.
We wrapped up the weekend with a slow day. The weather was just amazing outside so the kids got to go out and run off some cabin fever and DH got to take care of some work in the garage. Unfortunately, I was right in the middle of rearranging the office when The Migraine hit. I figured a perfect weekend was too much to pay for. I guess I had to pay somehow for all the fun I had. I was SO frustrated! After being so happy and energetic it felt awful to have to crawl into bed and cover up my head. I was in too much pain to consider anything else. I did, however, have a few more weapons in my arsenal than I usually do. I don't take any of the meds that are specifically made to combat migraines anymore because the side effects end up being as bad as the migraine. Instead, I used the TENS Unit that Dr The Mann gave me and it actually worked! It wasn't a quick fix; it took a few hours to get the pain to go completely away. The fact that it DID go away was miraculous! I don't know if this will work for every headache, but I am going to try this first from now on. Today I still have a bit of a headache, but it is bearable compared to what it was like yesterday.
So that was how my birthday weekend went. How did you spend your time? Did you have awesome weather like we did here in Texas? Let me know!
Deb Lollar
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