Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Short Update

Some days just don't get moving like they should. In spite of all plans otherwise, what needs to happen, just doesn't. I am beginning to wonder why I make plan or have any sort of expectation for the day when I wake up.

Instead of spending the afternoon at the library (like I planned) we spent the whole day being bums at home. The girls were wiped out (and still a little scorched) from yesterday's swimming pool adventure. They had no problem at all taking a day to recoup by parking their blond, skinny butts in front of the Hypnogourd and losing themselves in marathons of Cake Boss and Clean House. One the one show, they enjoy watching the amazing cakes this New York bakery makes and the owner of the place is, well ... colorful to say the least. Thankfully, it's a "family" show so the language doesn't reflect the true beauty of The City. The other show is a lesson in "What Not To Do" and I enjoy watching it myself. Part of me compares the disastrous messes to my own Humble Abode (at least in my head) as a measuring stick to make sure I haven't let things get out of control. The other part of me likes to see the makeovers. From Ultra Classy to Fun and Exciting, the designers on that show have some real talent. The Hostess isn't my favorite TV Personality, but the rest of the crew is usually fun to watch. The realization and the growth that these crazy, messy families go through can be really heartwarming. Watching the Before and After shots flash across the rooms makes me gasp every time.

I really wanted to get outside today because the weather cleared up and we had sunny skies all day (in spite of the Weatherman's warning to the contrary.) But, my desire for anything more fun that living vicariously through the bakery owners on TV was cut short by the realization that the headache I woke up with was the same headache I had been dealing with for almost three days. 48 hours is usually my limit when it comes to headaches. If the cocktail of OTC's and prescription pain killers can't kick the pain in two days, I have to up the power level and head for The Migraine Arrest Medication.

I hate taking this stuff. While it never fails to stop the headache (at least temporarily) it had some of the nastiest side effects of any medication I have ever taken. When it first kicks in, I can feel my head swim, my stomach lurch, and my body get heavy all at the same time. I usually nod off for about 30 minutes at that point. When I wake up, my head is usually pretty clear, but I feel like the headache moved down into all my muscles. The stiffness and soreness feel similar to what I deal with almost every day, but they are much worse. I just want to crawl back under the covers and not move until it all goes away. The positive side is that they DO go away. It may take a few more hours, but by the time the aches fade away, I feel like a new person. I have been known to clear out the laundry bin, vacuum all the floors, and scrub the kitchen  top to bottom in the rush that I get from this stuff. As I said before, I don't think the meds actually give me more energy, I think that the relief from the pain is so amazing, I just want to jump up and down and run around.

I probably would have had another super cleaning fit today if it hadn't been for the lovely burn I have across my shoulders. I have been treating it with fresh Aloe and a spray that is mostly Aloe with a few extra goodies mixed in. By tomorrow I won't be in any discomfort at all, I'm sure. Today though, I remembered just why I don't like to wear racer-back anything in the sun. When you get burned with a racer-X on your back, your bra (for those of you don't know) does not fit in with the burn pattern. What you get from this is rough, painful, peeling, shoulders from where the bra straps rub - even if the rest of you is healing nicely.

Instead of putting up with all of this, I decided (probably not wisely) to go Commando today. For awhile I was able to wear a cami with a built in bra because the straps are loose and soft. While it serves the general purpose of keeping you from being completely embarrassed while answering the door to a stranger, it really doesn't give the "protection" you need to go walking around and moving a lot. 40DD's have a gravity all their own and without steel-belted-radial-style support, it's much smarter to stay put and holler across the house for someone else to bring you your bonbons.

So, here it is almost an hour into tomorrow morning and I have gotten exactly Zip accomplished for the day. I managed to get all three girls moving to do their daily chores (EG showed more enthusiasm than even I expected!) but DH was the one who cooked dinner and wrangled them all into their beds (finally!) tonight. I only feel a touch guilty about everyone else pitching in while I sat on my derriere all day. The mess, of course, is mostly theirs, after all. Besides, DH is an excellent cook when it comes to French Toast and bacon for dinner (who would have thought Hot Fudge would make a decent topping?)

By 9:00 I had all three girls convinced that an early bedtime was necessary to have enough energy for tomorrow's new activities. As usual, it still took another hour to get them all actually asleep (this is why I start the bed time routine at 8:00 during the school year.) DH took that opportunity to flip on the recorded broadcast of the Tour De France and pull out the long-neglected Indian Craft that has been ordered by a friend (and paid for) and should have been delivered mid April.  Knowing I can be his biggest distraction, I really wanted to stay out of his way to let him work on it, so I decided to do something that I, too, have been avoiding. I logged on to the Jr College website and I finished choosing my classes for next semester.

I am terrified to finish the registration process. I just know that as soon as I officially register for class, I will get an amazing job offer over the phone and I will have to cancel my plans to return to school, once again. Right now I have secured Financial Aid (for the second time) and I have even chosen my degree path and my classes for the next semester. All that is left is for me to register and pay for the classes once the money comes through. That is such a scary thought right now! Paying money (even if it isn't mine) means that I have committed to this school thing. Once the tuition is paid, I have to attend because I am not allowed to drop classes (until I have actually taken a few courses.) If I skip out or cancel, it will affect my GPA, which is a 4.0 right now and I would like to keep it that way.

I have been waffling about what degree to take and what career I want to pursue. When I look at all the choices, I have decided to go for a teaching degree, at least for now. I have had a few bad experiences in the past, but perhaps they were more situational than personal. I would like to think that I have grown as a person since then and that I am more able to handle those kinds of stresses than I was before. Besides, if I agree to teach for just four years, I will have my entire college degree paid for. Texas is cool like that because we need teachers so desperately. After spending four years teaching what they need me to teach most in the school that I am needed most in, I am free to go my merry way with my college degree and my teaching certificate.

Four years as a reading teacher (or an ESL teacher, or a math teacher ... okay, maybe not MATH) seems a small price to pay for four (or more) years of education.  If I suck at it, well... I only have to do it for four years. I'll be able to say I helped out my community and I will hopefully have learned something more from it (besides the fact that I don't like mouthy, pre-teen, hormone-crazed girls.) Maybe during that time I will find my niche and my true calling in life. It certainly is worth a try. If I don't know what I want to be when I grow up right now, I really don't have anything to lose, do I?

I can't wrap my brain around it yet. Is this really the First Summer of The Rest of My Life? Will I be heading back to school at the same time my daughters are? How will I handle having homework and assignments while trying to help them with their school as well? Am I completely crazy for thinking I can do this? What will it be like sitting next to girls that are barely older than my daughter while trying to take my REMEDIAL MATH course. (Yep, LH comes by her Math troubles honestly.)

Currently, I have planned on taking two online courses and two lecture courses. I will have one on-campus class every day of the week (one M, W, F and one Tu, Thu) plus two more classes that I can take whenever or wherever I can. 12 hours is a full class load. There is no realistic way I can work more than part time while I do this. I don't even know if I can keep the workload straight for Math, History, Music, and Education courses all at the same time, let alone remember a part time job schedule. How the hell am I going to keep the bills paid and the papers done on time?

I had better become the world's most dedicated Budget and Schedule Master or I will end up back in front of a monitor Transcribing names and addresses five nights a week. Hmmm, there are some tough choices I need to make.

Debbie "Schoolgirl" Lollar

1 comment:

  1. I know you can do it. And a teaching (or any other, for that matter) degree is a key to more than one door.....